The Land of Dead
by ARF-Akamaru-ARF
Summary: A strange, weird mixed up story that we made up because we were bored out of our minds, read only if you want pure nonsense. Please R&R...
1. The Gay Introduction of the Introduction

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Naruto, Inuyasha, One Piece, Gundam Seed, etc., or any of the characters. I wish.

**WARNING: DO _NOT_ READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE 12 OR UNDER, OR YOU WILL BE OVERFLOWED WITH DISTURBING CONTENT, STRONG LANGUAGE, AND MORE DISTURBING AND GAY MATTER.  
Starting on Chapter Two, anyway. So...  
CHOOSE CAREFULLY IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ.  
CAREFULLY.  
_CAREFULLY._**

Here's chapter one:

**

* * *

CHAPPIE 1:  
****THE GAY INTRODUCTION OF THE INTRODUCTION**

Tsunade: Once upon a time… the end.

Sakura: What kind of story was _that_?

Naruto: There's no ramen!

Shikamaru: You are so troublesome!

Ino: Stop saying everything is troublesome! -Punches Shikamaru-

Shikamaru: Ow….. You are so troublesome.

Chouji: Munch munch

Kankuro: AHHHH! Why am I wearing teddy bear pajamas instead of my nice, comfy bunny ones?

Shino: ….

Lee: **THOSE ARE YOUR YOUTHFUL CLOTHES!**

Shino: ….

Lee: **AND I'M WEARING MY OWN FLAMING YOUTHFUL GREEN JUMPSUIT OF YOUTH!**

Everybody: -Sweatdroppes-

Akamaru: Arf.

Kiba: Yup, everyone's weird today.

Temari: You're not the one to talk.

Gai: **OH LEE! THAT IS THE MOST FLAMING YOUTHFUL GREEN JUMPSUIT I'VE EVER SEEN!**

Lee: **GAI-SENSEI!**

Gai: **LEE!…**

Tenten: Oh-no…

Kakashi: Hey! Have I missed anything?

**MEANWHILE…**

Itachi: Try this on, Sasuke-chan! -Holds up pink glittery poofy skirt-

Sasuke: …WTF...

Itachi: Aww, but it's so cute!Why won'tyou like it? Or perhaps you want a white, puffy dress?

Sasuke: GET ME AWAY FROM THIS MANIAC!

Deidara: I want the dress! -Pouting- Give it!

Sasori: Twitch…that is so gay.

**MEANWHILE (AGAIN)...**

Inuyasha: Hey, how come **_I_ **was never mentioned on the first page?

Naruto: Whatever…

**IN THE LAND OF DEAD...**

Zabuza: Cheers!

Bankotsu: -Glug glug glug-

Jakotsu: -Burps- Oops, excuse me! -Giggles hysterically for no reason-

Haku & Renkotsu: ….

Gatou: I need a person to kill...to kill...to KILL...TO KEEL...BWAHAHAHA I NEED SOMEONE TO KILL

Kikyou: Youwere dead?

Gatou: How dare you, Kikyou!

James P.: We're all dead.

Flay: Is there anybody that can protect me…?

Steller: Why don't you protect yourself?

Rey: ….

Kohaku: Hey, does anyone want to see my dinosaur undies?

Gold Rogers: Are there ANY treasures at all in this place? God!

Gaito: Hmm….

Sara: I wonder what our living friends are doing…

Shippou: WTF! WHAT AM I DOING HERE!

Hiten: I MURDERED YOU! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Kikyou: Crazy people…

**BACK TO THE LIVING...**

Tsukasa: Why am I here…?

Evil Narrator: Because we added you! MUHAHAHA!

Luffy: Want some meat?

Naruto: Want some ramen… wait, NO!

-**BEEP **Hinata has been added to the conversation-

Luchia & Mermaids: Let's sing! Pichi pichi pitch! -Starts singing-

Lee: **WAIT, I'LL SING WITH YOU! MY YOUTHFUL VOCAL CHORDS WILL LEAVE YOU TEARY FOREVER!**

Mermaids: -Stops singing- NOOOOOO!

Neji: Everyone run to the nearest exit!

Tenten: It's the Song of Destruction!

Deidara: I'll sing with you!

Itachi: You're a disgrace of the Atakuch… thirgy… group… urg… Whatever!

Lee: -takes deep breath- **I LIKE _GREEEEEEEN_! I LYKE _GREEEEEEEEEEEN!_ LYKE, GREEN IS THE BEST COLOR _EVA_, LYKE, _TOTALLY_! EVERYBODY LIKES OTHER COLOURS, BUT NOT _MEEE_!**

Kisame: Well, that DID leave us teary. MY EARS! AHHH! IT _BURNS!_

Everybody: -Faints-

**BACK TO THE DEAD...**

Flay: Hey! Why are we dead?

Obito: DAMN! AFTER I GAVE KAKASHI MY RIGHT EYE, I CAN'T SEE!

Naruto: You gave Kakashi-sensei your eye?

Rin: Yes he did… but why are you here? Dead?

Naruto: I dunno, I just ate a bowl of ramen and woke up here.

Sasuke: Probably date expired. Dobe.

Naruto: And why are YOU here, Sasuke?

Sasuke: Itachi accidentally added poison to my birthday cake. I'm glad really.

Itachi: Oh, Sasuke-chaaaaaan---! Where are you?

Sasuke: Eep! -Runs away-

-ENTER NEJI-

Neji: Wow. You're all here too?

Naruto: Why are YOU here? WHY IS EVERONE HERE!

Neji: I got killed by Lee's horrible singing…

Naruto: Oh yeah. That.

Lee: **YOSH! HERE I AM! WITH MY SPRINGTIME YOUTHFUL FLAMING YOUTHED VOICE! AND FLAMING GAI-SENSEI IS HERE TOO, HAI!**

Neji: Oh, no. Oh, no no NO!

Naruto: RUN FOR IT!

Neji & Naruto: -Running as fast as they can-

Neji: Why did THEY die?

Naruto: I bet Tenten killed him for revenge; Sakura killed them so I can never rest peacefully.

Lee & Gai: **HERE WE ARE!** -Takes really deep breaths- **OHHHHHHHHH-----GREEN IS THE _BEST!_**

-ARROWS SHOOTING PAST-

Kikyou: If you don't want to get hit, SHUT UP!

Lee: **GREEEEEEEEEEEEEE----**

-Shoom-

-Hit-

-Thud-

Neji: Well, I guess he didn't hear.

Naruto: All the better for us, though.

Gai: **NOOOOO! -**Weeps- **LEE! NOO! WHY DID YOU GET HIT BY A GIANT POINTY STICK?** -Hugs Lee's body -**I WILL NOW PROCEED TO REVIVE YOU WITH MY YOUTHFUL SINGING! **-Takes another deep breath- **GREEEEEE--**

-Same thing that happened above with Lee-

Kikyou: Well, NOW we can rest in peace.

Neji & Naruto: -Stares-

Neji: Well, you wouldn't want to get _her _mad…

Kikyou: What did you say? -Glares-

Neji: Um, no-nothing! Ah ha ha ha… -Giant sweatdrop appears-

Flay: Oh-You could protect me-

Naruto: You're cuter than Sakura! Would you go out with me? -Makes giant puppy eyes-

Flay: …. -Punches Naruto in the gut-

Naruto: -Falls backwards, writhing in pain-

Sora: My, my! Who's this pretty girl? -Points to Flay-

Flay: …um, I'm just going to pretend that I'm not here.

Sora: But don't you need protection?

Flay: Of course I do! Are you strong?

Sora: OF COURSE! Would you go out with me?

Miroku: Would you bear my child?

**S L A P**

Neji: Well, that should have been educational.

Flay: You want to be next…? -Evil grin-

Naruto & Neji: -Shrinks down to ant size and scurries away-

Ron: Bloody Hell!

Sora: Watch your mouth!

Ron: Why? It's bloody and it's hell.

Harry: I'm here too! Yay!

Kagome: Where's Inuyasha! -Scowls- And damn that Sakura!

Naruto: I killed him.

Kagome: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Sasuke: KYAAAAAAA--- -Screaming like a girl as he runs past faster than Lee with his weights on-

Itachi: WAIT, SASUKE-CHAAAN!

Sasuke: -Hides behind Kagome- Save me!

Kagome: ….

Itachi: -Stops- -Stares at Kagome- Why, hello there!

Hinata: N-Naruto-k-kun!

Naruto: Hinata! Why are you here? How did you die?

Hinata: -Turns beet red- W-well, I w-wanted to see y-you.

Naruto: Well, thanks. -Grins-

Neji: -Grinds teeth-

Hinata: -Faints-

Inuyasha: KAGOME! I'm here to save you from this mob!

Kagome: Yay! -Sparkle hears glitter huggles-

Akamaru: Arf!

Kiba: -What are you?- Points at Inuyasha

Inuyasha: I'm a--

Sasuke: EEK! SAVE MEEEE! -Runs away screaming like a girl once again-

Itachi: -Sulking- I guess he didn't like the purple glittery heart butterfly poufy princess dress I picked out for him.

Shino: ….

Naruto: Wow! Everyone's dead! Shino, did you bring any ramen with you?

Shino: ….

Kiba: You're dead, and you want ramen?

Naruto: Hell yeah!

Sora: Flay, you still haven't answered my question!

Flay: …What WAS the question?

Sora: Would you go out with me?

**P U N C H**

Kiba: Ouch.

Inuyasha: -Winces- That GOTTA hurt.

Shino: ….

Flay: AHHHHHH----Shrieks-BUGS! EWWWWW! GET AWAY FROM ME, BUG BOY!

Shino: ….

Zabuza: Well well well…. Look who's here!

Naruto: A well? Where?

Everyone: -Anime falls-

Naruto: WHERE THE HELL'S THE WELL! (A/N: WHOO! THAT RHYMED! WEEEEEEE--...well, sorta. Yeah.)

Zabuza: …I didn't mean that.

Naruto: Oh.

Haku: -Blows on nails- Idiot.

Naruto: WHAT!

Gaara: Can I borrow your nail polish? I'm getting sick of eyeliner.

Temari: What did you say….? -Evil face-

Naruto: Where's Kankurou?

Gaara: Alive.

Neji: Wouldn't he try to kill himself or something?

Temari: Nah. He doesn't even know we're dead. He's listing all his -Shudders- pajamas.

Kankurou: I lost my pink and green dinosaur pajamas!

Gaara: Kankurou! Why are you here?

Kankurou: I died of sadness after I lost my pajamas.

Shino & Harry: ….

Naruto: -To Flay- Did you know that your name means "to strip off the skin or outer covering of"? (A/N:God, Naruto's a hentai. XD)

Kiba: You know, that's the smartest thing you ever said.

Sakura: -Punches Naruto- Pervert!

Naruto: You're dead too?

Sakura: Well, _duh._

Sasuke: -Running past- EEP-----!

Itachi: -Still sulking- I don't think he likes me.

Sakura: -Points at Itachi- Aren't you a bad guy? Why are you chasing Sasuke? Are you…GAY?

Itachi: MAAAAY-BEEE!

Everyone: -Runs away from Itachi screaming their heads off-

Itachi: -Laughes- Of course not! I just like Sasuke-chan for some unknown reason! -Sucks on thumb-

Sasori: Itachi, that is so gay.

Sasuke: -Peeks out from behind Flay- Tell me about it.

Flay: KYAA! When where YOU back there? -Slaps Sasuke-

Shippou: I believe Sango found her slapping partner.

Flay: -Turns purple- Will you get out of here, you--

Sanji: Ah, my beautiful _fleur_, will you go out with me? -Holds Flay's hand-

**C R A C K**

Sanji: -Thud-

Inuyasha: He deserved it, the bastard--

**S L A M! -**Background noise: SIT!-

Kagome: THAT'S better.

Itachi: -To Kagome- How'd you do that?

Kagome: MAGIC!

Hermione: Hey, _I_ can do magic too! -Whips out wand- W-- L--- -Floating charm- (A/N: Forgot the spell thing. It doesn't matter, does it?)

Sakura: And WHY are _YOU_ here!$(&$#!

Shikamaru: Women are SO troublesome…

Ino: -Makes evil face- WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Everyone: -Sweatdrops-

Naruto: WHY IS EVERYONE DYING!

**BACK TO THE LIVING:**

Tsunade: GO TO **HELL**! -Punches/kills Jiraiya-

**BACK TO THE DEAD:**

Sakura: -Looks through crystal ball- Well, that's how we all died.

Kakashi: -Giggling behind his perverted book-

Naruto: Which chapter are you on, Kakashi-sensei?

Kakashi: Chapter 13. Oh, this is good!

Sakura: Naruto, you read it too?

Neji: Seems like it.

Luffy: I'm hungry.

Everybody: ….

Zoro: -Snores-

Chouji: -Munch munch-

Sasuke: …what are you eating?

Chouji: -Munch- Chips - I'm OUT! I'LL FADE AWAY! NOOOOOO!

Shikamaru: Don't worry, I've got-- uh-oh, I ran out too…

Chouji: NOO! Must… resist… temptation…for human flesh…!

Shikamaru: RUN FOR IT!

Hinata: KYAAAAAA!

Chopper: Usopp, now you can tell a story of the flesh-eating monster in Hell!

Kaito: I want to surf!

Sasuke: I want to barf!

Akamaru: Arf!

Kiba: Akamaru wants to bark!

Everyone: WE KNOW THAT!

Itachi: -Gets leg bitten off by Chouji- AHHH!

Sasuke: Yeah! He can't chase me anymore! Go Chouji!

Naruto: I want ramen!

**P O O F**

Kakashi: Hey! Did I miss anything? I just went to the bathroom.

Luffy: I want meat!

Zoro: I want sleep!

Shikamaru: God, you people are so troublesome!

Luffy: Do you have a problem?

Chouji: I want Shikamaru's head!

Shikamaru: NO! Do I look like an apple to you?

Luffy: No, but you look like a pineapple.

Chouji: Mine!

Shikamaru: EEK!

Ino: That's what you get for saying everything's troublesome!

Chouji: -Whirls around to face Ino and drools- I want your neck!

Ino: -Backs up while sweatdropping -Now,now, Chouji… don't get all weird!

Itachi: -Limping- Sasuke-chan! Do you want some blueberry muffins? I made them myself!

Sasuke: ….how did you make them? There's no oven, muffin sheets, no pan, no nothing! HOW?

Itachi: I made them with my love!

Everyone: -Sweatdropps-

Sasori: Itachi, that is so gay.

Chouji: Can I have one?

Itachi: NO! THEY'RE FOR SASUKE-CHAN!

Sasuke: N-no thanks. Chouji can have them. -Gets ready to run-

Itachi: -Pouts- Don't you even want _one_?

Sasuke: Gotta go! -Runs away-

Naruto: Wow. I think he really needed to go to the bathroom.

Itachi: Really? I'll go with him! -Chases after Sasuke-

Everyone: -Anime falls-

Chouji: Mmm, these muffins are good!

Kakashi: NOO! Why didIcha IchaParadise Volume No. 15 end so soon? -Sulks- Naruto, did you bring the next one?

Sakura: Naruto… -Evil face- You readIcha IchaParadise too? -Gets ready to punch someone-

Naruto: -Puts on innocent face- Of course I do! I'm the one who recommended them to Kakashi-sensei and Miroku-san!

Kiba: Bye!

Sakura & Sango: -Double direct hit-

Naruto: -Throws up breakfast- Why me?

Sakura & Sango: Because! -Naruto can be seen flying in the sky-

Miroku: -Grabs Sakura's butt- Would you bear my child?

Sakura: -Blushes- N-no!

Everyone: O.O

Sango: .

Sanji: NO! SHE'S MINE!

Sakura: NO! I'M SASUKE-KUN'S!

Sasuke: What?

Itachi: NO! SASUKE-CHAN'S MINE!

Everyone: x.X

Sasori: Itachi, you ARE gay.

Kohaku: What the heck?

Kikyou: -Sighs- No, Kohaku, we don't want to see your dinosaur underwear. PLEASE.

Kanna: Hell has been invaded by perverts, homosexuals, and weirdoes….

Kagura: Wow, Kanna! It's the first time you said that much in one sentence! -Gets all bug-eyed-

Kiba: …Why do I have a feeling that Kanna and Shino are alike?

Kanna: ….

Shino: ….

Kiba: Yup, I was right.

Kagome: Awww! They're bonding!

Kanna & Shino: -Shoots evil glares at Kagome except you can't see much from their expressionless/covered faces-

Kagome: Awwwww! A cute couple!

Kanna: -Holds up mirror- I will devour your soul….

Shino: My destruction bugs will kill you….

Kagome: SO KAWAII! -Squeals-

Kiba: Bye!

-Kagome's soul was sucked in by Kanna's mirror, and her body was destroyed by Shino's bugs-

Everyone: o.O;

Neji: …amazing.

Inuyasha: KAGOME!

Kagome: -No reply-

Inuyasha: Wah! -Cries and runs in circles- Mommy!

Sasori: That is SO gay, in SO many ways.

Ino: Wrong, in SO many _levels_.

Shikamaru: I will now forever be scared.

Inuyasha: -Sniff sniff- WAH! -Runs in squares now-

Kiba: That is one weird dog.

Akamaru: Arf.

Sesshomaru: Now that annoying mutt has gone crazy, I can concentrate on my beautifully designed clothing and makeup from Beverly hills. Ta-ta! -Floats away on giant fluffy pelt-

Sasori: Is there anyone here that isn't GAY?

Inuyasha: Wah! Boo-hoo! I want my da-da!

Everyone: -Sweatdroppes- Wow.

Inuyasha: -Sucks thumb-

Shippou: Is that Inuyasha?

Sasori: No, he's the gay lord.

Kikyou: …is there such person?

Jakotsu: That's meee! -Hic-

Everyone: Sweatdroppes again What the….

Jakotsu: You have something -Hic- against that -Hic- huh?

Bankotsu: -Hic- Yup! -Hic- _I'M _the gay -Hic- lord!

Sasori: Is it just me, or are they all gay?

Hinata: W-why are we t-talking about gay peop-ple?

Sasori: Because we want to?

Shino: ….

Kikyou: Why would you want to talk about _that_?

Inuyasha: -Sucking thumb while curled up in a ball-

Everyone: -Sweatdroppes- (A/N: Wow, everyone sure sweatdropps a lot here. BUT WHAT THE HELL!)

Sakura: Can't we go somewhere else?

Sasuke: Yup, I'll go… in that far corner.

Itachi: I'll go with you!

Sasuke: NO!

Itachi: -Sulk sulk- Are you sure?

Sasuke: YES! GET OUT OF MY WAY!

Itachi: -Sob- WAHHH! -Sucks thumb in corner with Inuyasha-

Naruto: O…kay…

Sakura: Why were you here anyways?

Naruto: Look more to the beginning. You weren't here then, so look.

Sakura: What the…!

Naruto: Besides; the future hokage can't be defeated by anyone! Ha ha ha ha ha!

**P U N C H**

Naruto: Oww…

Sakura: NOW he's defeated.

Naruto: Hell no! Kagebunshin no Jutsu!

Ron: Wicked!

**P U N C H**

Kikyou: I feel sorry for that blond brat.

Sasori: No, he's a hyperactive, knuckleheaded, blond GAY brat.

Evil Narrator: MUHAHAHAHA----

Kikyou: -Sighs- And why is HE here?

Sasori: Who knows? ...But I know that he's gay.

Gaara: I RAN OUT OF SAND!

Haku: -Applies lipstick- Idiot.

Jakotsu: -Runs around- I'm GAAAY!

Renkotsu: -Skips around with Jakotsu- Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O… and on his farm he had some ducks, E-I-E-I-O…!

Shippou: I'm scared… -Sobs-

Inuyasha: -Rolls around on floor-

Itachi: -Rolls around on Inuyasha-

Hinata: I-I want to g-go back to the liv-living….

Renkotsu: …with a quack quack here and a quack quack there, here quack there quack everywhere quack quack…! -Makes weird arm movements-

Shikamaru: And there I thought Naruto, Ino, and Temari were troublesome… guess I'm wrong…

Shino: ….

Naruto: I'M HUNGRY! I WANT RAMEN!

Evil Narrator: MUHAHAHAHAHA--!

Sakura: SHUT UP!

Ino: -Flirting with Sanji-

Flay: WHY ISN'T ANYBODY PROTECTING ME!

Sora: I'M COMING!

Flay: I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU!

Akamaru: -Whimpers-

Kiba: I agree. Women are SCARY.

Flay: -Faces Kiba- WHAAAAT!

Kiba: -Whimpers- N-nothing….

Sakura: WOW!

Naruto: WHY ARE WE YELLING?

Flay: I DON'T KNOW!

Sora: FLAY STARTED IT!

Naruto: Actually, I started it. HEE HEE!

Shino & Kanna: ….

Kiba: "…."ness.

Shino: Want to be next?

Kiba: No thanks!

Akamaru: Arf!

Kiba: DON'T CALL ME A DUMBASS AKAMARU!

Kagura: Weirdo.

Kirara: Mew!

Akamaru: Arf!

Kirara: Meow mew MEOW!

Akamaru: Grrr….

Kirara: HISS!

Kiba: _They better not be bonding…._

Flay: Aw! They're bonding!

-Kiba flies towards Flay with a fist, but Shino holds him back-

Kiba: DAMN YOU FLAY! AND YOU TOO, SHINO!

Shino: ….

Kiba: Don't all "…." me!

Hinata: K-Kiba-kun don't f-fight please….

Kiba: -Calms down- Alright, Hinata.

Kanna: …amazing….

Naruto: This is getting boring.

Sakura: Thought you're never going to say it.

Naruto: Then you're WRONG! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Background: Itachi & Inuyasha sucking thumbs and rolling around; Jakotsu and Bankotsu saying they're gay lords and Renkotsu singing "Old McDonald"

Sasuke: I'm hungry.

Shikamaru: It's getting to troublesome, LET'S END THIS STORY.

Naruto: We were in a **story**?

Shikamaru: I think so….

Naruto: Why didn't you say so! I looked like an idiot!

Sakura: Um, you ARE an idiot, Naruto?

Naruto: -Brushing his hair in front of a suddenly appeared mirror- LA LA LA LA! I DID NOTHING! SASUKE IS AN IDIOT! I'M GONNA BE THE FUTURE HOKAGE! AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME! YEAH YEAH YEAH! I'M TOTALLY AWESOME! OH YEEEEEAAAAAH-

**P U N C H**

Naruto: -Thud-

Sakura: And STAY that way this time!

Neji: Wait, How come Tsunade-sama was never here?

**IN THE LIVING:**

Tsunade: Laa dee daa daa doo-- -Brushing hair-

**IN THE LAND O' THE DEAD:**

Naruto: HEY! NOT FAIR! WHY ISN'T TSUNADE-BAA-CHAN DEAD?

Sakura: Stay DEAD, for Pete's sake! -Punches Naruto again-

Sasuke: Good job, Sakura.

Sakura: -Squealing- Do you really think so, Sasuke-kun? -Suddenly sprouts heart eyes-

Ino: NOOOOO! SASUKE-KUN'S _MINE!_

Itachi: NO WAY! SASUKE-CHAN IS _MINE_! _MINE_, I TELL YOU, _MINE!_

Sasuke: -Runs away-

Itachi, Sakura and Ino: SASUKE-KUN(CHAN)! WAIT FOR US! -Runs after Sasuke-

Neji: Oh great...

**To be continued...**


	2. The Seriously Disturbing Introduction

**Disclaimer:** Same as Chappie 1. Don't own any of the characters, blah blah blah.

**WARNING: DO _NOT_ READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE 12 OR UNDER, OR YOU WILL BE OVERFLOWED WITH DISTURBING CONTENT, STRONG LANGUAGE, AND MORE DISTURBING AND GAY MATTER.  
Starting on this chapter, anyway. So...  
CHOOSE CAREFULLY IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ.  
CAREFULLY.  
_CAREFULLY._**

Here's chapter two:

**

* * *

CHAPPIE 2:  
****THE SERIOUSLY DISTURBING INTRODUCTION**

Naruto: Think of a name.

Sakura: Why?

Naruto: Just do it.

Kakashi: How about "Come Come Paradise"?

**P U N C H**

Kurenai: One more word about that book and I'll burn all your collection of it!

Naruto: NO! THEY'RE MINE! I LENT KAKASHI-SENSEI IT!

Jakotsu: What about Gay Lords? -Hic-

Renkotsu: No, no no no no. We should -Hic- name it Old -Hic- Mc-Donald Had a -Hic- Gay Chicken!

Sasori: …That is SO gay.

Chouji: I need food! FOOD! FOODY FOODY FOOD! -Drools-

Inuyasha: I want my mommy! -Crying-

Itachi: I want my Sasuke-chan! -Sob-

Tenten: Did I appear before?

Neji: Now that I think about it, not really.

Miroku: -Holds Tenten's hand- Will you bear my children?

Sango: -Turns red as flaming…um, fireballs float around her?-

Tenten: ….-Cuts Miroku's head off-

Neji: OMG! -Screams like a girl-

Tenten: …Haven't you ever seen someone getting killed?

Neji: Not by you! WAH! Tenten's mean to me! MOMMY!

Sasori: …That is SO gay.

Itachi: Join the club.

Neji: -Sits in corner with Inuyasha and Itachi and starts to suck thumb-

Everyone: They're insane…

Temari: Kankurou's next!

Kankurou: Um, no thanks! -Backs away slowly from Temari-

Hinata: Um… I-I wants to…live…

Naruto: I WANT RAMEN!

Luffy: I WANT MEAT!

Akamaru: ARF!

Kikyou: NOT AGAIN! -Slaps her forehead-

Kiba: -Sighs- No, Akamaru, you went to potty already two minutes ago! Can't you hold it?

Akamaru: Grrr….

Kiba: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Sakura: I thought we were supposed to think of a name.

**SILENCE**

Shino: ….

Kanna: ….

Naruto: Ramen?

Kagome in Kanna's mirror: AWWW! THEY'RE BONDING! AGAIN!

Kanna: -Tapes duct tape over Kagome's soul's mouth-

Kagome In Kanna's mirror: Mmm mm mm mmm MM! (A/N translation: Get this duct tape off me or I'll throw myself off the empire state building!)

Kanna: Please do so.

Inuyasha: -Sob, sob, sniff- WAHNESS! DA-DA! I WANT MY BOTTLE!

-Shoom-

-Whizz-

-Thud-

-Disintegrates-

Kikyou: -Wipes forehead- Phew, now it's over.

Itachi: Sasuke-chan! Inuyasha-chan! WAH!

Sasuke: …Um, I'm still here.

Itachi: Sasuke-chan! -Starts chasing Sasuke, again-

Sasuke: OMG! I need my MOMMY! -Starts running-

Itachi: -Squeals- That is SO CUTE, Sasuke-chan! I need my mommy, too! Mommy! Mommy! Da-da?

Sasori: That is SO gay.

Shino: …This is ridiculous….

Itachi: Keep your ass away from this.

Shino: ….

Evil Narrator: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA- -Gasps and chokes- … I think I swallowed my mint.

Sakura: NOT YOU AGAIN! -Punches Evil Narrator and he/she flies at least 1 mile away-

Sakura: -Holds Sasuke's hand- Come on, Sasuke-kun! Let's go somewhere else! -Drags Sasuke-

Itachi: -Going crazy- NO! Sasuke-chan! Don't go! WAH!

Sasuke: I don't like either of you! -Stares helplessly-

Sakura: -Sob- S-so the rumors are t-true? -Sniff- You like Naruto?

Sasuke: x.X Hell NO!

Sakura: -Ignores Sasuke- Yes…the almighty Sasuke-kun is GAY!

Itachi: He IS? -Gasp- HE CAN BE GAY WITH ME!

Sasuke: HELL _NO_!

Itachi: YES!

Sasuke: NO!

Itachi: YES!

Sasuke: NO!

Itachi: YES!

Sasuke: NO!

Itachi: YES!

Sasuke: NO! Fine! I like Sakura, OKAY!

Sakura: -Gasp- REALLY! -Turns red- ZOMG THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

Sasuke: -Grumbles- _At least I'm not gay…_

Itachi: -Sulks- But can't you be gay with me too?

Sakura: Oh, Sasuke-kun--!

Inner Sakura: HA HA! IN YOUR FACE, INO-PIG!

Ino: HEY! But Sasuke-kun, don't you like ME? -Pouts-

Shikamaru: Women are so troublesome…

Ino: Stop saying that you pineapple head! -Punches Shikamaru-

Chouji: -Munch munch- (A/N: He somehow got his chips back!)

Sakura: -Drags Sasuke- Come on, Sasuke-kun! Let's go to the mall!

Sasuke: _Oh my God! How did I get in this mess?_

Kikyou: Two gone. Three down. A hundred more to go.

Neji: Tenten, are you less mean now? -Whiny-

Tenten: …Um, no.

Neji: -Backs into the corner and starts sucking thumb-

Tenten: _Why did Neji turn into such an idiot?_

Neji: -Whips around- I heard that, Tenten! It's all your fault!

Lee: YOSH! The GREAT AZURE BEAST of KONOHA is BACK! -Posing-

Naruto: -Gapes- When did YOU come back to life!

Kanna: He didn't. We're all dead now. He just fainted.

Naruto: -Jaws drops to the ground- We're DEAD!

Sakura: Idiot.

Naruto: -Stunned-

Kiba: He just knows WE'RE all dead. What an idiot.

Naruto: HEY!

Kiba: What?

Naruto: Don't dis me in front of my face!

Shino: …

Temari: Why don't we play Truth or Dare? I'm bored.

Ino: Sure! How about you, Sasuke-kun?

Sakura: Oh, no, Ino. _I_ was gonna be the one to ask!

Naruto: LET'S PLAY! Truth or Dare…Sakura-chan!

Sasori: Well, that was obvious.

Sakura: Um…dare?

Naruto: -Grins- I dare you to KISS me!

Sakura: NO WAY!

Naruto: -Pouts- Scaredy-cat.

Sakura: Grr…fine!

Naruto: Oh yeah! Oh, and you have to do it ON THE LIPS.

Sakura: …too bad. You only said to kiss you!

Inner Sakura: HA! TAKE THAT, BAKA NARUTO!

**MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM…**

Itachi: Truth of Dare, Sasuke-chan!

Sasuke: …truth.

Itachi: -Pouts- Fine! Do you like me?

Sasuke: No.

Itachi: -Sulks away-

**MEANWHILE AFTER SAKURA KISSED NARUTO…**

Naruto: OHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHOO-HOO!

Sakura: Oh puuhleese. I only kissed you on the hand.

Naruto: _SO_?

Sakura: Urg…. Truth or Dare…Shino!

Shino: …Dare….

Sakura: -Evil smile- I dare you to sing…"Sunglasses at Night"!

Shino: …Crap. -Starts singing- I wear sunglasses at night, I wear sunglasses at night….

Everyone: -Laughing-

Hinata: Shino-k-kun, are y-you okay?

Kiba: -Laughs- THAT was -laughs- FITTING!

Akamaru: Arf! -Snorts, kind of like snickering-

Shino: …-Blushes but you can't see it because of his collar and his sunglasses, which he just sang about in his gay song- Kiba, truth or dare?

Kiba: Truth!

Shino: _Damn_. Do you like Hinata?

Kiba: -Blushes- Um…uh…

Hinata: -Blushes and looks away-

Kiba: Uh…maybe?

Sakura: AWW! SOO CUTE- -suddenly stops- Hinata, I thought you liked Naruto!

Naruto: EH?

Sasuke: Idiot. You just won the #1 Stupidest Ninja award.

Naruto: Huh? If I'm an idiot, then how am I suppose to win a award… -Thinks for ten seconds- WHAT THE! HEY!

Sakura & Sasuke: I-DIOT! HA HA!

Naruto: -Cries- Kakashi-sensei!

Kakashi: -Giggles- What?

Naruto: Sasuke and Sakura are bullying me! -Sob-

Kakashi: Really? Good job, Sasuke and Sakura!

Naruto: HEY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STICK UP FOR ME!

Kakashi: -Surprised- Really?

Naruto: Grr…. Truth or Dare, Kakashi-pervert!

Kakashi: Dare! Of course! -Giggle-

Naruto: -Evil grin- I… dare you to kiss Gai somewhere in the face!

Kakashi: Sure! -Giggle-

Sakura: I think Kakashi-sensei is drunk.

Kakashi: -Dancing around- Gai, my lovely rival, where are you? Gai!

Gai: **HERE I AM, MY RIVAL KAKASHI!**

Tenten: I HOPE they're drunk… It'll be a horror if they weren't.

Kakashi: Gai! I have to-

**-BEEP- THIS PROGRAM IS WAYY TOO GAY TO BE EVER SHOWN ON TV, SOOO… WAIT, I THINK I MEANT ON PAPER, NOT TV. WHY AM I SAYING THIS ANYWAYS? WHATEVER, THIS LITTLE COMMENT COST ME 5 BUCKS, YOU BETTER PAY ME BACK, WHOEVER'S READING THIS RETARDED THING. BACK TO THE**

**S T O R Y:**

Everyone: UUGG! EWW! GROSS! DISGUSTING!

Gai: **AHHH! KAKASHI JUST POISONED MY YOUTH!**

Kakashi: Want to do it again? -Wink wink-

Everyone: EWWW!

Lee: **GAI-SENSEI!** -Begins to cry- **HOW DARE YOU POISON GAI-SENSEI'S YOUTHFUL FLAMING YOUTH!**

Sakura: Kakashi…sensei, are you drunk?

Kakashi: -Surprised- I am? Wow!

Sasuke: O…kay… I will forever be scarred. (A/N: SCARRED! NOT SCARED!)

Jakotsu: -Pouts- I was supposed -Hic- to be the hic Gay Lord! Hic

Kakashi: Okay, NOW I have to

**-BEEP- …YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.**

Everyone: THAT WAS JUST WRONG! WRONG!

Kagura: That silver headed man didn't just kiss that bowl headed idiot again, did he?

Kanna: He…_did_…

Kagura: Oh my god…

Gai: -Freezes- **AHHHH! SO THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GOING TO BEAT ME! MY RIVAL, KAKASHI, IS NO LONGER STRAIGHT!**

Neji: Nor were you. (A/N: Yes, he turned normal!)

Tenten: YES! Thanks god, Neji! You're normal!

Neji: Hn.

Kakashi: -Hic- -Glug- -Wipe-

Sakura: Thanks god he's drunk. Whew!

Jakotsu: I WAS SUPPOSED -Hic- TO BE THE GAY -Hic- LORD! NO FAIR! -Hic- -Pouts-

Temari: …whatever. Truth or Dare, Shikamaru?

Shikamaru: …Truth. Dares are too troublesome….

Temari: Who do you like better? Me or pig?

Ino: HEY! -Turns purple-

Shikamaru: Uh…too troublesome?

Temari: CHOOSE!

In Shikamaru's head: If I choose Temari, Ino will beat the crap out of me. If I choose Ino, Temari, Kankurou and Gaara will kill me…-Sigh-

Shikamaru: …Um…none of you?

Ino & Temari: What…did…you…SAY!

Shikamaru: I dunno. -Yawns-

Flay: Here I am! -Bounce- (A/N: It was suppose to be flounce, but since it -the word- looks like bounce, so…)

Shikamaru: Why is that girl bouncing?

Ino: Don't change the frikken' subject!

Shikamaru: -Sigh- …neither of you? -Ino and Temari have bad memories. REALLY bad ones at that.-

**SILENCE**

Shikamaru: …You're okay with that, right?

**-SHIKAMARU CAN BE SEEN GETTING CHEWED UP BY A VERY HUNGRY CHOUJI WHILE GETTING BEATEN THE CRAP OUTTA HIM BY INO. MEANWHILE, TEMARI IS RELAXING ON A LAWN CHAIR, SIPPING GINGER TEA AND ENJOYING THE VIEW.-**

Kiba: Why did you eat him, Chouji? I thought you have your chips back.

Chouji: -Chewing on Shikamaru's arm- Because I never back down from food! -Munch-

Everyone: -Sweatdrop-

Kiba: …Truth of Dare…Neji.

Neji: Dare. -Ties bow in his BROWN hair. BROWN. NOT BLACK.-

Kiba: …I dare…you to kiss…uh…Lee or Tenten.

Neji: …which?

Kiba: Both!

Neji: …K.

Kiba: You asked for it. -Shrugs-

Neji: Crap!

Tenten: Neji! Don't swear!

Lee: **HAI! YOU SHOULDN'T WASTE YOUR FLAMING YOUTH WHILE YOU ARE STILL YOUTHFUL!**

**SILENCE**

Neji: So…I have to kiss Tenten and Lee?

Kiba: -Nods-

Neji: Damn!

Tenten: -Blushes-

Lee: -Grins- (A/N: What else is he suppose to do?)

Neji: _At least he didn't say on the lips…._

**MEANWHILE…**

Itachi: …Sasuke-chan, do you like me now?

Sasuke: No.

Itachi: -Sulk- Okay.

**FIVE MINUTES LATER…**

Itachi: Now?

Sasuke: FOR THE HUNDERDTH TIME, NO!

**AN HOUR LATER…**

Itachi: …now?

Sasuke: NO! I TOLD YOU ALREADY!

Deidara: …SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!

Sasori: The Akatsuki has disgrace itself again and again and again…

Itachi: Oh shut up.

**MEANWHILE…**

Neji: This…is…WRONG!

Lee: -Running around in circles- **MY HAND BURNS! IT _BURNS_!**

Tenten: -Blushes furiously-

Kagome in Kanna's mirror: SO KAWAII! THEY MAKE A PERFECT…COUPLE!

Kiba: Triple is more like it.

Shino: …

**THIS IS GETTING SICK, SO TO ANOTHER VIEW…**

Itachi: …now?

Sasuke: _I am not going to answer…_

Itachi: Now?

Sasuke: -Takes deep breath- _I am_ NOT_ going to answer…_

Itachi: Now now now?

Sasori: Don't you want to kill Itachi? You can do it now…

Sasuke: -Lost in his own thoughts so he didn't hear Sasori-

Itachi: Come on, Sasuke-chan! _NOW?_

Sasuke: -Getting angry- NO! THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Itachi: -Shrugs- Okay, if I get to fight with you. -Switches Magenkyou Sharingan on-

**5 MINUTES LATER…**

Itachi: -Posing with some kind of wind blowing his hair, smirking-

Sasuke: -Thinking- _Why can't I win…DAMN!_

Itachi: Now?

Sasuke: …For God's sake, NO!

Sasori: You are so gay, Itachi.

**MEANWHILE…**

Jakotsu: -Hic- I'm the -Gulp- gay lord!

Renkotsu: -Singing off tune- OLD MCDONALD HAD A FARM…

Naruto: -Eating fishcake- They're weird.

Shika head: You're actually eating yourself, Naruto. "Naruto" means 'steamed fishcake'.

Flay: Will no one protect me?

Naruto: -Runs up to Flay- I, Naruto Uzumaki, the great steamed fishcake, will protect you!

Miroku: No! I will! Go away you fish head!

Naruto: I'm a fish CAKE, not a fish HEAD! LOSER!

Bankotsu: Cake head? -Hic-

Chouji: -Holding Shika head- Pineapple head!

Shika head: No! I'm not a pineapple! You dim-witted moron!

Everyone: O.O Shikamaru swore…

Shika head: For all you people's information, the word "moron" is not a swear word. "Moron" means idiot, bowl headed…

…**LET'S LEAVE SHIKA HEAD RAMBLING ON AND ON…**

Temari: -Pokes Shika head with her fan- For once, he didn't say it was troublesome…

Shika head: Quit poking me! Putting a band-aid on is too troublesome!

Temari: Oh yeah? -Pokes harder-

Chouji: I want to eat Shikamaru's head!

Ino: -Snarls- Go ahead!

Shika head: NO! PLEASE, NO, CHOUJI! PLEASE! -Makes puppy eyes-

Chouji: Cool! A puppy eyed pineapple head! -Gulp-

Shino: ….

Kikyou: One down, one eaten, two drunk, one singing…so…there's no more normal people…

From inside Chouji's stomach, Shika head: -Muffled- You're not exactly normal either….

Luffy: HEY PEOPLE! I FOUND AN ALL YOU CAN EAT RESTAURANT!

Zatch: What's a restaurant?

Shika head in Chouji's stomach: It's a place you pay for gourmet food. -Gurgle- It's actually nice in here…wow…who'd thought it'll be nice in someone's stomach?

Zatch: -Pokes Chouji's stomach- How come your stomach's talking?

Chouji: -Evil grin- It's got a mind of its own…

Zatch: COOL! I want one, too!

Sasori: …Whoever you are, you are soo gay.

Zatch: Gay? I'm gay? I'm GAY! YIPPEE!

Everyone: -Anime falls-

Sasori: That is SO gay….

Sakura: -Sweatdrop- Where's Sasuke-kun? He promised to take me to the mall!

Itachi: -Sulks- But he promised ME that he'll go to the mall, birdie-feeding-place, aquarium, the old people places, the zoo, park, another park, the beach, cooking classes—

Sasuke: -Covers ears- NO I DID NOT!

Itachi: -Shouts- YES YOU DID!

Sasuke: NO!

Itachi: YES!

Sasuke: NO!

Itachi: YES!

Sasuke: NO!

Itachi: YES!

Sasuke: NO…oh, what's the use.

Itachi: YES! I WIN! -Drags Sasuke to the mall, birdie-feeding-place, aquarium, the old people place, etc.-

Sakura: NO! SASUKE-KUUUUUUN! WAAHHH! -Sits down in a now empty corner and cries eyes out-

Naruto: Uh… don't cry?

Sakura: ….

Inner Sakura: YOU'RE NOT HELPING HERE YOU… YOU… FISH HEAD CAKE!

Naruto: So… are you going to stop crying?

Sakura: **HELL NO!** Oops….

Naruto: O.O

Everybody: -Sweatdrop-

Naruto: T.T

Kirara and Akamaru: -Whimpers-

Kiba: -Innocently- Akamaru thinks Sakura sounded like a - -

**C R U S H**

Kiba: -Not so innocent now- Never mind….

Sakura: I SOUNDED LIKE A "NEVER MIND"!

Kiba: Uh… no? -Whimpers-

Inner Sakura: **YOU DAMNED BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT TO ME!**

Kyuubi: That girl is scarier than me, the nine-tailed fox!

Naruto: I have to agree. -Pats Kyuubi's head-

Kakashi: Hey! I see you got out of Naruto's body! -Pats Kyuubi- Good job!

Kyuubi: -Losing patience- Why…are…all…these..._people_…patting me…on the HEAD!

Naruto: Cause you're cute! -Pats Kyuubi on the head again-

**O U C H**

Naruto: -Screams- AHHHHHHHH! -While blood is squirting from his hand- BAD FOX! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD FOX! -Points accusingly at Kyuubi-

Kyuubi: You can't stop me! HA HA HA! I'm gonna take over the world! HA HA HA! -Having seizure-

-Shoom-

-Whizz-

-Thud…?-

Kikyou: What the hell…

Kyuubi: HA HA! -Grins painfully- HA HA! I am _immortal_! HA HA! You cannot beat me! HA HA! TAKE THAT!

Sakura: Grr…-Punches Kyuubi repeatly- TAKE _THAAT_!

Kyuubi: -Throws up- HA HA! Still alive! HA HA HA!

Kanna: In case you haven't noticed… This is _hell_ and you are _dead_…

Kikyou: What about Inuyasha? I killed him, no?

Inuyasha: -Running in the background- MOMMY!

Kikyou: -Sweatdrops- Never mind.

Kagome: Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: Kagome!

Kanna: -Looks down at her mirror- I thought she was going to jump off a building…no?

Kagome: I did! I jumped off a building in here!

Sanji: Ah--! KAGOME-HIME!

Kagome: …Kagome-hime?

Sanji: My DEAR PRINCESS, do you want some… _la pizza?_

Kagome: …I have no idea what you're talking about.

Sanji: _Un cafe? Un gâteau? Le the? La creme glacee?_

Kagome: -Question mark-

Sanji: -Rattling on and on- _Le jambon? Un fruit de mer? Une lasagne? Une tarte? Le pain? Le pepperoni? Une saucisse?_….-

Everybody: -BIG question mark- Eh?

Sanji: …Never mind,_ au revoir_!

Kagome: -Thinks hard- Um… bye?

Sanji: -Snaps fingers- YES! _Oui, oui!_

Kagura: -Shudders- He's freaking me out…

Sanji: -Turns around- _Qu'est-ce qui?_

Kagura: -Has no idea what the hell Sanji's talking about- Eh?

Sanji: -Sighs- _Rien_.

Kagura: What!

Sanji: I mean, I mean, nothing!

Kagura: -Fuming-

Sanji: Ah! My dear princess**es**! -Gets heart shaped eyes and running around holding **every** female's hand-

Kaede: -Giggles-

Kanna: -Stares at her hands-

Kikyou: He's drunk…

Sanji: -Points to Kaede- _Cet acteur a quatre-vingts ans_.

Everybody: STOP SPEAKING IN… WHATEVER LANGUAGE YOU'RE SPEAKING IN!

Sanji: It's Français -French- you dim-witted morons! It's the most beautiful language in the world…though not as beautiful as you-- -Holds Hinata's hands-

Hinata: -Stiffens-

Neji: Why you… -Turns Byakugan on-

Sanji: -Turns around to face Neji- Is there a problem, _Monsieur_?

**THE NEXT DAY, IN THE HOSPITAL…**

Hinata: Y-You shouldn't ha-have done tha-that, Sa-Sanji-san….

Sanji: -No answer-

Zatch: What's that? -Pokes Sanji's cigarette- OUCH! IT BURNS!

Sanji: -No answer-

Zatch: COOL! -Touches the cigarette over and over again- OUCH! OUCH! UOCH! OUCH! OUCH!

Kiyo: -Punches Zatch on the head- Stop poking it, idiot!

Zatch: -Turns puppy-eyed- WAH! Kiyo called me an idiot! -Cries out waterfalls-

Sanji: Uurruughh.

Shizune: AH! It's flooding!

Kyuubi: HA HA! I CAN DO THE DOGGY PADDLE! HA **HA**!

Akamaru: Arf! Arf!

Kiba: Akamaru said so can he!

Kirara: -Hissing-

Kiba: -Turns red with embarrassment- SHUT UP, YOU FREAKY CAT WITH FLAMING FEET!

Sanji: Uurruughh.

Kagura: Eh?

Sanji: UURRUUGHH!

Sasori: Shut up.

Sanji: ….

Kiba: -Stops shouting insults at Kirara- We have another Shino!

Shino: …For your information, no we don't.

Kiba: -Amused- Shino talked!

Kanna: …I think he also _sang_…

Shino: …!

Itachi: -Still dragging Sasuke- Now we'll go visit all the Naruto fans in the world, all the villages, the bookstore, the supermarket, get undressed and run around naked in the streets, buy ice cream-

Sasuke: -Twitching- What?

Itachi: -Sighs- I said, "Now we'll go visit all the Naruto fans in the world, all the villages, the bookstore, the supermarket, get undressed and run around naked in the streets, buy ice cream-"

Sasuke: WTF!

Fangirls: -Whistling- YES! Itachi and Sasuke-

**P U N C H**

Sakura: Do NOT say that word…

Fangirls: Itachi and SASUKE! -Screams/squeals-

**-ITACHI WENT TO SIGN AUTOGRAPHS WHILE SASUKE HID BEHIND THE FUMING SAKURA-**

Itachi: -Done signing autographs- Now let's go get Sasuke-chan's autograph!

Sasuke: NO! -Runs away with Itachi and the fangirls chasing-

Sakura: NOO! SASUKE-KUN! -Runs as fast as she can (A/N: Which can be pretty slow) after Sasuke-

Kikyou: Let's see…one eaten, three **still** drunk, one being chased, one thousand and two chasing…so…fifty more to go!

Everybody: O.O

Hermione: -Trembling- She's better than me at math…-Cries-

Kikyou: HA! IN YOUR FACE! -Starts doing the Pepto Bismol dance-

Everybody: O.O

Kikyou: Nausea. Heartburn. Indigestion. Upset stomach. Diarrhea! YAY, PEPTO BISMOL!

Everybody: …Wow.

Kikyou: YAY, PEPTO BISMOL!

Kaede: Is…she…my sister?

Kikyou: No, I'm not.

Kaede: O_kay_…

Kikyou: -Stuffing pillows under her shirt- I'm Santa Claus! Ho, ho, ho!

Naruto and Zatch: Yippee--! Santa's here! It's Christmas! Yippee!

Kaede: …It's in the middle of June….

Kikyou, Naruto and Zatch: Oh well!

Cagalli: What in the world….

Kiba: Another Shino!

Akamaru: Arf!

Kiba: Akamaru thinks the new member of the Shino group is-

Cagalii: ASSHOLE, I'm not Shino, you dog boy!

Kiba: Hey!

Akamaru: Arf! Arf arf! Grrrr!

Kiba: Akamaru thinks you're-- -Whispers- you're… -Whimpers- a…

Cagalli: Shut up!

Evil Narrator: I'LL NEVER! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ichigo: -Scowls- Are you a retard?

Sasori: Yup. AND…he's gay.

Cagalli: This is like…so **_gay_**. I'm going…

Miroku: NO! WOULD YOU BEAR MY CHILD!

**PUNCHES. KICKS. HEADBUTTS. KICKS AGAIN. PUNCHES AGAIN.**

Miroku: -Beaten up- NOO! SHE LEFT!

Sango: -Veins popping-

Sasori: …that is so gay.

Sango: You have a problem with that! -Evil aura-

Sasori: I have plenty.

Sango: Grrr…-Beating Sasori up-

Fangirls: OMG! Itachi-chan and Sasuke-kun are lyke, getting away!

Sasuke: -Running like mad- CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!

Sakura: Sasuke-kun--!

Itachi: Sasuke-chan--!

Naruto: SASUKE-TEME--!

Sasuke: EEEEK! -Runs away, followed by one thousand and two people-

Kikyou: MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO, HO, HO!

Naruto: -Stops chasing Sasuke- Yay! Where's my present, Santa?

Kikyou: Um…lemme see…HERE! -Grabs Zatch by his's hair- HERE'S YOUR NEW MAMODO!

Naruto: YAY! I thought I might be getting ramen, but oh well!

Kiyo: Hey! Zatch's _my_ Mamodo!

Kikyou: Oh well. -Shrugs-

Naruto: YAY!

Kiyo: NO! -Cries waterfalls-

Naruto: YAY! -Oblivious to Kiyo's…well, pain-

Sasuke: Aaaarrgghhh! -Gets trampled under screaming fangirls-

Sakura: NOOOOOOO--SASUKE-KUUUUUNNNNN!

Kikyou: Let's all do the Pepto Bismol Dance!

Kikyou, Naruto and Zatch: NAUSEA, HEARTBURN, INDIGESTION, UPSET STOMACH, DIRRHEA! **YAY PEPTO BISMOL!**

Itachi: SASUKE-CHAN! BOO-HOO! WAH! I WANT MY DA-DA!

Sasori: Itachi, that is so gay.

Sanji: _Selon le journal, il va pleuvoir!_

Kanna: ….

Kagura: J…journal?

Sanji: _Non! Non!_

Sasori: Does that mean you're gay? Which I strongly believe you are.

Zatch: -Pouts- But _I'm_ gay!

Sasori: You can _all_ be gay for all I care.

Sanji: _Le petit garçon a la garde de honte._

A French dude: _Non!_  
Everybody: …WTH….

Sanji: _Comment triste._

Kagura: -Annoyed- SHUT UP!

Everybody: YEAH!

Sanji + French Dude: -Silent-

Temari: FINALLY! Thank you!

Kagura: -Yells- GREAT! YOU JUST BROKE THE SILENCE! NOW THEY'LL START TALKING FRENCH AGAIN!

Temari: -Stares- YOU'RE TALKING LOUDER!

Sanji: _Oui!_

Kagura: -Throws what's nearest to her -which is the French Dude- at Sanji- SHUT UP!

Sanji: -Rubbing his head- O-Okay.

Kagura: -Stunned- You speak English!

Temari: DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SHUT UP!

Kagura: SHUT UP! -Starts a shouting match with Temari-

Sanji: -Shakes head- _Vous deux etes tres etrange…._

Shika head: Women are **SO** troublesome…

Chouji: Shut up, stomach!

Shika head: -Monotone- That is no way to treat your own stomach.

Chouji: -Eats furniture-

Shika head: OW! OW! MY HEAD! CHOUJI, STOP EATING CHAIRS!

Ino: Aren't those bad for your stomach?

Chouji: Nope! Not for- -Turns green and runs to bathroom-

Ino: ….

Kiba: The NEW Shino!

Shino: SHUT UP!

Everybody: -Inches away from Shino-

Kiba: First he sang, then he talks, then he shouts…NICE!

Shino: THIS IS NOT NICE!

Kiba: COOL! NOW HE SHOUTS AGAIN!

Shino: -Sticks out tongue- PPtth!

Hinata: -Horrified- S-Shino-k-kun…

Sanji: _Il est ivre._

Shino + Kagura: SHUT UP!

Sanji: -Pouts- Fine! -Staying quiet- Happy?

Shino: NO!

Everybody: O.O

Shino: …

-**SHINO HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION-**

Hinata: I-I feel sorry for Shi-Shino-kun…

Neji: I don't.

Tenten: …Nobody asked for your opinion!

Neji: …Che… Whatever.

Flay: IS THERE ANYONE RATHER THAN THE FISHCAKE THAT WILL PROTECT ME?

Naruto: The _GREAT STEAMED_ FISHCAKE AND the FUTURE HOKAGE WILL!

Flay: Everybody EXCEPT **YOU**!

Sanji: _Et moi?_

Flay: SHUT UP!

Kiba: Now nobody will want to. Hahaha, too bad.

Flay: I'm just saying to stop saying French!

Akamaru: Arf. -Whimpers- (A/N Translation: She's mean…)

Sanji: -Whimpers-

Everyone: You're a dog, too?

Sanji: _Non!_

Flay + Kagura: SHUT UP!

Sanji: -Whimpers-

Everyone: You're a dog, too?

Sanji: _Non!_

Flay + Kagura: SHUT UP! -And it happens over and over again-

Naruto: When will this end? I want ramen.

Luffy: And I want meat.

Shika head: -Muffled- And I want to get outta here!

Zoro: Shut up. I'm trying to sleeeeep…

Sanji: _Aucun merci._

Flay: I NEED PROTECTION!

Sora: I'M COMING!

Horohoro: They're weird.

Akamaru: Arf!

Kiba: Akamaru! Don't be so rude!

Akamaru: Barf!

Kiba: EWWW!

Horohoro: What?

Kiba: Akamaru just…barfed….

Chouji: I'm hungry!

Yoh: I'm going to study the back of my eyelids…-Walks off-

Kagura: …Weirdo.

Zatch: -Pokes Ren's hair- Cool hairstyle!

Naruto: -Cries- I want to go home!

Kanna: This is your home now….

Naruto: No it isn't! My house has _ramen!_

Everybody: -Sweatdrop- Okay…

Neji: Can't we break this camera or something?

Tenten: I don't know. Want to try?

Neji: Sure! In three…in two…in one…NOW!

**-BOOM. CRASH. BANG.-**

Tenten: Well, we cracked it a little.

Neji: But that's not enough.

Lee: **DON'T WORRY! THE GREAT AZURE BEAST HAD COME!**

Horohoro: I only see beast, and what's so great about you?

Lee: -Sob- **YOU HURT MY YOUTHFUL FLAMES!**

Everybody: -Sweatdrops- Okay…

Gai: **I'LL BREAK THIS UNYOUTHFUL CAMERA LENSE!**

**-CRACK. BOOM. CRASH.-**

Lee: **GAI-SENSEI!**

Gai:** LEE!**

Lee: **GAI-SENSEI!**

Gai: **LEE!**

Lee: **GAI-SENSEI!**

Gai: **LEE!** -Hugs with the sun setting suddenly behind them, tears streaming down their faces, and beautiful waves crashing onto the rocks below, while "Sexiness" track is playing-

Tenten: Oh spare me. -Slaps her forehead-

Neji: I never got used to it. You?

Tenten: Not really…hey, I have an idea! -Shouts- NARUTO! There's ramen at the other side of this stupid camera lens!

Naruto: OMG! I'LL BREAK THIS CAMERA NO MATTER WHAT!

**-CRACK. BOOM. CRASH. CRACK. BANG…-**

Naruto: YEEESSS! I GOT THROUGH--

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**A/N: Yeah...hope you enjoyed this queer story so far. Remember to review. We want reviews! REVIEWS! READ AND _REVIEW!_ ...-Cough- So...yeah. R&R. **


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